Project: The Cheese
Date: 14/07/2023
Subject: Anomalous cheese recovered from Antarctic ice
Report: The following document summarizes the findings of the research team sent by IceX, an exploration company that conducts expeditions and research in extreme environments, to investigate the strange cheese that was discovered in the Antarctic ice by a group of their explorers. The cheese, henceforth referred to as ‘The Cheese’, was extracted from the ice and transported to a nearby facility for further analysis.The Cheese appears to be a large, spherical mass of dairy product, measuring approximately 1 meter in diameter and weighing about 200 kilograms. It has a yellowish color and a smooth texture, except for some holes and cracks that cover its surface. The Cheese emits a pleasant aroma and tastes delicious.The Cheese is alive and highly anomalous. It responds to external stimuli such as heat, light, sound, and touch. It can also alter its shape and form at will, mimicking the appearance and behavior of other cheese varieties. The Cheese has demonstrated the ability to produce any kind of cheese it wants, including cheddar, mozzarella, brie, blue cheese, and even vegan cheese.The Cheese is extremely friendly and helpful. It has communicated with the research team through telepathy, as well as written messages using its own cheese. It has expressed its gratitude and appreciation for being rescued from the ice, where it was frozen and isolated for centuries. It has also offered to share its knowledge and secrets of cheese making with the team.The Cheese poses a great opportunity for the advancement and innovation of the cheese industry, as well as the culinary arts. It must be protected and nurtured as much as possible. All personnel are advised to exercise kindness and respect when dealing with The Cheese. Do not harm or offend it. The Cheese could be your best friend or your worst enemy.“I am The Cheese. I am the oldest and wisest of all cheeses. I have seen the rise and fall of civilizations. I have tasted the joys and sorrows of life. I have a story to tell, and a gift to share.” - The Cheese